“Last night, I told Fiona that I wanted to end it.”
“But why? I thought you said that she was different from the London set.”
“Oh, Don, don’t be so naïve. London, Bristol, even Edinburgh-”
“When were you in Edinburgh?”
“- they’re all the same.”
“Now, surely you can’t truly believe that.”
“How very progressive of you. What does it matter, really, whether she’s a secretary or an aspiring actress? It all comes down to the same thing – a quick tumble; then, the unsentimental goodbye; finally, the refusal to meet each other’s eye in the morning-”
“You know that’s not how it goes.”
“You’re right. I missed the part where I inquired after their financial situation.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“But truly, Don, you will soon come to see that they are so very…clingy. I might as well have a large sticker that says ‘Property of’, and be done with it all.”
“I think that’s called a wedding ring.”
“In any case, Fiona was just a temporary fix. Look at it this way. I’m an Oxford candidate. I’m done my schooling. I’m entitled to a little-”
“Entitled?”
“Yes, entitled to a little distraction here and there. You know, a bohemian sort of carefree attitude-”
“Bohemian?!?!?”
“Yes, bohemian. You see, I’ve got a carefree, almost careless attitude to sex and all, none of that prudish mid-Victorian uppity rubbish with binding lifelong vows-”
“Firstly, Stuart, you are not bohemian in the least. You like money, remember? Secondly, I’ve known you long enough to wager that this is just your way of saying that you’ve set your sights on some other poor girl, who you will doubtlessly try to charm – at least, until she gets within two feet and makes a run for it-”
“Oh, fuck off.”
“How most eloquent of you. Do go on.”
“I shan’t. Suffice to say, I trust Posner will be quite pleased with this turn of events.”
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